When I met HER again.



I was sad and I was alone. I know I was dying and suffering. At the same time I was intending to expedite the process of dying to end up my miseries. I was horrified with the kind of situation I was in. I was actually thinking of suicide. I believed I was a fighter but I came to realize that there is threshold for everything. Everything has a melting point. I was devastated.

I was afraid with the idea of having no tomorrow. I was thinking that if I take that bold step, then probably this will be my last day. If there would be only one day left to exist. What would I do if there would be!! Well, it is quite evident that whole concept of tomorrow is a myth. There was never a tomorrow. It always stayed in philosophy. May be for procrastinator, it is a favorite place to dwell into but it never existed. Tomorrow is like Heisenberg cat experiment, so the moment you see it, it has become today. So even scientifically it is a paradox.

All these thinking could not give me power to fuel myself. I was falling and I was experiencing the detachment of every single cell from my body. In sheer hopelessness, I have decided to end up my affliction. I have decided to commit suicide.

It was night time. I went up to the only skyscraper Patna had. I was literally on its terrace and was acquiring all sort of guts to execute it. And... There I saw HER. I had due permission to call her god, though she was reluctant. She came close to me and smiled. I look at her. Big, beautiful eyes and innocent smile she was carrying. Her hair was shining black and looking silky and her ear rings dangle. In her orange kurti, she waits.

She continued "I am intrigued by the idea of death. What do you think?”
I was completely lost in her beauty and also was in utter surprise to confront her again.
She retorted “Are you going to say something?"
She had something in cup. It was black and I assume it to be coffee. She offered me and I took it without any reluctance.
After one sip I responded “I think it's the end of all miseries and sufferings"
She exclaimed "Is it? I don't think so"
I asked “So, you believe in after-life or something"
She replied "No. I think death is an oblivion, and your miseries never end. That's one way to put it. Let me put it in this way: You are suffering, right?”
I replied "Yes"
She continued “See, It’s not your body that feels anything. It's your soul, your body is just a cover, a mask that has soul trapped.
She had my enthusiasm but now she had my attention as well.
She continued "Now, as we all know, a soul cannot be destroyed, because it’s an energy. It can only be transformed. We never really die. Our bodies decay and disappear, but the soul is still out there. So, what if, all the souls go into oblivion after we die? That way, your suffering never ends. It just lives on."
I replied “The suffering ends here,” to which she replies. “In this world, it ends.”
I was perplexed. I said "we live and then we die, and move on".
She replied "Exactly. After dying, it’s just the soul and if it’s in oblivion, it’ll only take what it had here in this world. And if it’s suffering, you will suffer even after death, forever.”
Finally I opened up and told her that I was actually contemplating suicide to end up my miseries and you’re telling me it’ll continue to live even after death.”

She simply said “In a way, I’m advising you not to die just yet.”

Courtesy 
The Mahapurush

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