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Are you who you were a year ago ?

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Losing something always hurts you to bottom core of your heart. Its not human nature to accept the loss humanely and it feels even more tormenting where you start losing "someone" rather than "something". It’s terrible, distressing and harrowing. Hence it is even more difficult to see someone you love slipping out of your hands not knowing why they are doing so. Just a few months back things were amazing, as amazing as you ever imagined them to be, but what now? A basket full of memories that you can cherish for life? Promises for being there and then disappearing the next moment. A few amazing months that when you look back at them you can’t help but smile. It’s hard when you never know why things ended the way they did or did they? Yet again its human nature to blame the circumstances for every situation they are in. But out of all, there are many which are fixable. You just need heart to solve it. It is not calculus. It is life and hence it is si...
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When I met HER.

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A lot is going on in my life and till now I was dealing it with complacency, but still I am not able to sleep. I was so deprived of sleep that for me a.m. and p.m. has lost its value. I usually see clock ticking from 11 and goes to 5 or even 6. I do understand that I am going through one of the most critical phase of my life but in this criticality my eyelashes will fail to hug each other was out of the equation, but it was happening, unfortunately though.  I live with my parents and I live in Bihar. I mentioned this because, some of the easiest way to escape reality is smoking and drinking. But as I mentioned, I live with my parents hence I cannot smoke because constant fear of getting caught will kill me and if I get caught I will be definitely killed and I live in Bihar means I cannot drink. Bihar is a dry state :'( Last night my parents were not at home. I was all alone. I was restless, sad, angry and much else. I realized that I needed puff. I sneaked...
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When I met HER again.

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I was sad and I was alone. I know I was dying and suffering. At the same time I was intending to expedite the process of dying to end up my miseries. I was horrified with the kind of situation I was in. I was actually thinking of suicide. I believed I was a fighter but I came to realize that there is threshold for everything. Everything has a melting point. I was devastated. I was afraid with the idea of having no tomorrow. I was thinking that if I take that bold step, then probably this will be my last day. If there would be only one day left to exist. What would I do if there would be!! Well, it is quite evident that whole concept of tomorrow is a myth. There was never a tomorrow. It always stayed in philosophy. May be for procrastinator, it is a favorite place to dwell into but it never existed. Tomorrow is like Heisenberg cat experiment, so the moment you see it, it has become today. So even scientifically it is a paradox. All these thinking could not give me power ...
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